Yaaaaay!!!! It’s Free and It’s Fun!!!

Music: cheesy early 90’s music that is always playing on the deck :S… heeey Paula Abdul.

I’m not gonna lie…it’s pretty much the best thing ever to be MEEEE!!!!  I’m at work, Friday night, grumbling over mopping the floor and scraping ice from the fridge.  My phone keeps ringing off the hook, so even though it’s a little inappropriate, I answer.  It just happens to be my lovely seaman, Fergus Lowrey, calling from somewhere out in the South Pacific Ocean, where he is aboard the P&O Pacific Sun Cruise Ship.  He has been living and working on it for the last 6 months. 

“You’re on!  I got you approved!  You’re going on a free cruise tomorrow!!!”  I freak out, and we discuss a few details, but basically, I’m on a free cruise, sailing the Pacific ocean, tomorrow, for free, with my good friend Fergus, for free.  Did I mention that this seven day, all inclusive cruise, is free?  It is.

Problem.  My manager is not to pleased.  Solution… he leaves and I ask the head chef and my coworker if they can cover for me.  They do.  So we’ll see how angry this makes the boss… Sorry buddy, but like i’m going to pass up a free cruise to the beautiful Whitsundays, Cairns, Port Douglas and Willis Island, with one of my best buddies from home, who I hadn’t seen, untill recently, in over 2 years.  (Fergus has been coming to Brisbane every seven days for the last month, so we have been able to enjoy Saturday’s together in the city).

WeeeEEEEEeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!  This is actually Fergus’ last cruise before he finishes his contract and flies home May 2nd for a month or two.  We’re pretty pumped to be enjoying this together.  Furthermore, he’s pulling on every string he can find to get me free stuff.  Example: Free $160 tour of Whitsundays to go see some Crocs (Crikey!!), possible pedicure from the lovely Brits in the Spa, a free tour of a rainforest in Cairns (worth another $180 and the chance to feed Roos!!), food food food and professional photos.  Yay!!!

So that’s why it’s awesome to be me (and Fergus… cause he gets to hang out with me ).

Well… better get back to lounging on the deck in the beautiful sunshine surrounded by the gorgeous ocean.  Life is so hard… (If you are wondering what I am going to do if I don’t have a job when i return, the answer is, I don’t really care… I will write more later, but this has been quite the experience, and it has been less than 24 hours; especially cause i get the behind the scenes look of ships and all the best that a passenger would get… A job as a waitress really can’t compare!)

BTW, Fergus gives a shout out and would like to claim a spot as co-writer for this blog entry… mostly he just sat behind me, shouting out things I should mention… but he’s gone now… he went to get my free Shampoo and Conditioner from the spa. 

Bye for now! xoxo

A Little More Australian Everyday…

Music: Coeur de Pirate (cute as!!)

How?  You ask?

1. Feet-I’ve totally got the dirtiest feet.  This is because in Australia, it is thong (flip flop) season all year round.  In fact, barefoot is a-ok.  About four days out of seven I am naked, ankle down.  Seriously… Aussies everywhere (if everywhere means, in Australia) are walking around barefoot, and I LOVE it!  No shoes?  You still get service!  Ping Pong!  This is really helpful when you wear three inch heels to the club and afterwards, want water and sesame snaps from the convini.  Or, when you wear (and then decide to take them off) not-yet-broken-into-slip-ons for your 45 minute walk to work and again, crave sesame snaps.  Or, when it’s too wet and slippery to wear flip flops!  barefoot, barefoot, barefoot, oi, oi, oi!

2. Swearing- If you thought I was bad before with my ‘ef this’ and ‘ef that’, you should hear me now!  Australians have the biggest potty mouth!  And it’s rubbing off!  Fuckin’ aussies….

lookin fit;)

3. Aussie rules footy- I went to an Australian Football League game on Saturday night.  It was a little confusing, but totally fun to watch.  Mostly cause the fit boys don’t wear all the padding you see in NFL… and their shorts are short… heeeEEEeeey footy players.

4. Some words…. Things aussies say that I reckon (that’s number one) i’ll start saying:

• Far out- crazy.. can be good or bad
• Mad- yah, like I used to say back in grade six… they’re a little slow on the trends… “That guy is mad!”
• But- they use but at the end of their sentences…. example: “That cake was too sweet, mate!”  “Yah, it was good, but!”
• ’something’ as… like: sweet as, good as, long as… assssss… what?  not sure… you guess by the tone of voice i suppose.  “Oi mate!  That bird was hot as!”
• Bicky- an example of how Aussies shorten everything.  This means Biscuit (cookie).  They also say: Macca’s (McDonalds), Footy (Football), Wooly’s (Woolworths grocery store), relo’s (relatives), cuppa (cup of tea/coffee), Brizzy, Melbs, Goldie (Brisbane, Melbourne, Gold Coast)… it goes on and on and on…
• “How ya goin’, matey?“- How are you … person…
• Bogan- a nice term for someone who is slightly… well… white trash.  Racial slurs, mullets, kids at 15,… you know.
• Goon- 4 litre sack of alcohol in a cardboard box with an easy to pour dispenser.  Only $10.85 at your local Bottle-o (liquor shop).

5. Vegemite!!!!! I looooove it!!!!! Since their peanut butter isn’t that great here, I’ve taken to spreading the ol’ ‘mite on everything.

6. The Works- Aussies bring a whole new meaning to ‘the works’.  Here is what you will get if you order a works burger (or in my case, chickpea pattie ): Choice of pattie, mayo, tomato sauce (not ketchup ), lettuce, to-mah-to, cucumber (not pickles ), (this is where it gets crazy!) grated carrot, pineapple, fried egg, beet root (not pickled beet… even though it is…), avo (avocado is far too long to say) and I believe that about covers it.  Woo!  Eating is a work out!  (This may also explain the rise in obesity…)

7. Alcoholism…if you thought i partied before (Scotty’s nickname for Ash and me “Party Girls” comes to mind….), you’ve seen nothing.  Aussies love to drink (actually, they have a pretty serious alcoholism problem… but.. on the brighter side, they sure are fun!)

I saw one girl, at a party in the park, skull (chug) half a 26er of Smirnoff Vodka.  She had already drank (more gracefully) the first half.  Then she ate some grass…but that’s besides the point.  She was like 100 pounds and still standing 5 hours later.  Impressed.  They also have these boxes that contain 4 litres of wine for ten dollars.  That’s like $7 Canadian!  Plus, boys here totally hit on girls!  (I have also learnt that Canadian boys are timid).  Even more of a reason to go out and dance it up when you drink for free .  ALSO, parents party here like rock stars.

8.  I sure wish I could finish with something classier than alcoholism… umm…. Oh i know!  The cold! I was wearing a hoodie the other day because I was cold.  It was probably like 15 degrees.  Such a … what would an aussie say… “You’re such a windger, Canada.” (Yah… my mates call me Canada here… it’s cute as, but!)